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Angela Perry

"Snow Moon" by Angela Perry

SF&F Picture 20 out of 21 by Angela Perry
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My submission for Herscher Project 21: Pretty Paper, Ribbons, and Bows.

This project was all about creating a Christmas present for someone, based on things they liked. Mandy Burnham was the person I selected out of the hat (so to speak), and it's been so much fun getting to know her! We've chatted over e-mail, I've read her stories, and looked at all her lovely pictures.

This story is the result. Mandy likes dragons, science, and the unexpected, and this story strives to combine all three :-)

Before I forget (again)...the illustration was done by me in Photoshop. Yeah, I know. That's why I don't have an art gallery *grins* But it needed a picture!

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Illustration snow.jpg for Snow Moon

 

Kara caught her breath as a beam of winter moonlight coruscated over the white shell, picking out sparks and prisms just beneath the surface. Squinting her eyes, she leaned closer. Maybe this wasn’t a shell after all....

* * *

“Dr. Hodgins, come look!”

The excited grad student was practically bouncing on his stool in front of the microscope. Samantha Hodgins smiled crookedly at his behavior. Pushing herself away from the table where she was working on the arctic bacteria samples, she wandered over to stand behind the student.

“What did you find, Steve?”

“These shells that the expedition brought back…look at their structure. If they were from simple mollusks, I would expect to see calcium carbonate, protein, even silica. None of that is present here.”

“I didn’t expect them to be normal mollusk shells,” Dr. Hodgins sighed, folding her arms across her chest. “The expedition would hardly have brought them to us if they expected them to be normal either. Carbon-dating shows that they are least five thousand years old. We may have identified a new species.”

“No, you don’t understand,” Steve protested, standing and urging the professor onto his stool. “The shell doesn’t appear to have any known organic compounds. I think there may be some there, I just can’t identify them. But it also looks like metal. Or some kind of stone. Not fossil, though. Just…just look.”

* * *

It almost looked like the sparks were dancing around the shell now, skipping off the surface like water on a hot griddle. Kara hesitantly touched the shell. A tingle ran up her arm. The sparks brightened, white and blue and silver dancing in her darkened bedroom, reflecting off the frozen windowpane and the icicles hanging outside.

* * *

“Your grad student is right, Samantha. I’ve never seen anything like this either.”

Dr. Bernham peered intently through the microscope, adjusting the resolution and sliding the shell around. Dr. Hodgins hovered near her colleague’s shoulder. In the background, Steve balanced on the soles of his feet, his eyes gleaming under his shaggy hair.

“How many specimens do we have?” Dr. Bernham asked, sitting up and looking at Dr. Hodgins.

Steve flipped through some sheaves of paper and blurted, “Twenty-seven distinct shells. Well, items.”

“Actually, twenty-six,” Dr. Hodgins corrected, looking away and rubbing the back of her neck. “Kara, my eight-year-old daughter, collects shells. I had no idea these were unusual. I brought one home for her.”

Dr. Bernham glowered from behind his thick glasses. “Then I suggest you bring it back. This could be the greatest discovery made by the university in decades. A unique compound that combines organic and metallic properties. We need to find out what it is, where it came from.”

* * *

A little frightened, Kara opened her window and pushed the shell outside. It chimed as it landed in the snow. In the open air, surrounded by twinkling snow and moonlight, the shell’s flickering increased. It seemed to grow and change and shift before Kara’s eyes.

* * *

“Hey! What’s happening?”

Steve lifted his fingers from the specimen box. They were coated with fine grey powder.

Dr. Hodgins and Dr. Bernham looked into the box as well. Together, the three of them watched as the strange shells lost their luster and began to crumble. Soon, nothing remained but piles of the grey powder.

“It’s almost like something drained them,” Steve whispered.

“Nonsense,” Dr Bernham muttered, his voice heavy with disappointment. “They probably just reacted to the air. We should have been more careful to preserve them.”

Dr. Hodgins sighed. “Now we’ll never know where they came from.”

* * *

High above the park, looking down on the frozen pond and snow-covered trees, Kara squealed with delight. She had always known moonlight and the sparkling of snow and ice were magic.

The dragon carrying her looped and twirled in the air, trumpeting its freedom, its opalescent scales dazzling in the light of the Snow Moon.

←- Singing Sunrise | Between Spirit and Dust -→

DateNameComment 
21 Jan 2007:-) Suzanne Collins
I can't believe I skimmed over this one! I like this a lot.. the finding of a new substance, that actually proves magic and dragons exist! The ice dragon does sound incredibly perdy 19)

:-) Angela Perry replies: "Wouldn't it be cool if it were real? *sigh* I'm glad you liked it, though! Mandy got quite the giggle out it. She says my science is a tad bit off...can't imagine why, since science was my only 'D' subject *grins*"
8 Feb 2007:-) L. ´Frog´ Janas
That's so sweet, almost poetic. I like your writing style and the story was well crafted. It took me a moment to figure out you were switching perspectives (my stupidity!) but then I went back and reread it and I really love this story! Keep up the good work! ^__^

:-) Angela Perry replies: "Thank you! I appreciate you taking time to read the story 1 This one doesn't have a lot of comments, so it's great to hear some feedback about it."
20 Feb 200745 L. Shanra Kuepers
Ooooh, I don't think the picture is all that bad. I quite like it, actually. ^-^ Certainly a gazillion times better than anything I could draw.

behind the student. <- I think you can get away with using 'him' here, but it's largely a matter of choice. ^-^

Oooooh... But that's such a sweet, sweet, sweet story. ^-^ I really enjoyed it. The simplicity in the narrative is so deceptive of the depth of the plot. I loved the scene switching between Kara and the scientists. (Can't comment on the scienciness, but I like it the way it stands. ^-^)

*shakes head with a smile* I'm sorry. I don't seem to be getting much farther than saying it's sweet and that I love it. It's a gorgeous little piece, me dear. I love the concept of it and the execution. So, so beautiful and easy to imagine.

*squees at the dragon and skips off to do her homework like a good student*

:-) Angela Perry replies: "*giggles* Aw, you're too nice... I love to draw, and I love to sing, but long ago I decided not inflict anyone with those particular "talents". I prefer painting pictures with words ;-)I'm so happy you liked it! It ended up being a lot shorter than I had originally envisioned. I got to the end and kept going, but nothing sounded right. So I deleted the last page *grins*Thanks for your continued visits! I love to see a familiar name in my comments!"
1 Mar 2007:-) Panu Karjalainen
For my part, I felt it ended far too soon. The scientists were too quick to let go of their amazing discovery, Kara's moonlight flight could have had consequences, and the origin of the shells was not even hinted at. I think it's a terrific idea, though, contrasting self-absorbed scientists and their amazing discovery with a self-absorbed child and her amazing discovery, and determining the value of their finds... but the length being what it is, I think it'd have worked better as a narrative poem.

The rapid scene switching would have worked better in a poem, too. As it stands, I wasn't too fond of it. But then again, maybe you don't want to take my word for it, I fear I've been overfed on hopping viewpoints recently...

Kudos on the idea, though! Very beautiful!

:-) Angela Perry replies: "Thanks for the feedback! Hmm, I'll have to look into rewriting it as a narrative poem, just to see how it turns out.My goal was to write a short-short story (less than 1000 words). It was still too long, and I felt it could have used more development too. Meh. Maybe I'll just have to rewrite it with all the details I wanted to put in."
8 Mar 2007:-) Jon Midget
You deserve much credit and thanks for avoiding the urge to explain everything in the story. I love the ending, especially because I'm not sure how the metallic thing-a-ma-jig brought the dragon, and I am not sure what will happen to Kara and the dragon.

My main critique involves the scientists. The opening scenes were strong, when they were simply describing the shells. But it kind of fizzled when they began telling each other how important the discovery was. The more they told each other, the less inclined I was to believe it was important. And then it seemed kind of weird that they just kind of said "oh well" when the shells collapsed into dust.

Kind of like the word prestigious. If an award is REALLY prestigious, then you don't have to explicitly state that it's a prestigious award.

Anyway, nice job — especially on the beginning and the scenes with Kara. As one reader said, the consequences of the flight are not even remotely explored. Kudos for that. Nothing kills mystery and magic like a bunch of explanation.

:-) Angela Perry replies: "Heh. Good point! I know I'm much less likely to believe someone if they go on and on and on about how "speshul" something is 1Thanks for reading! If you like reader interpretation stories, I also recommend "Between Spirit and Dust." I would love to hear if you can figure out what's going on without having to read the comments (so many people can't understand it, and I can't decide if I should make it more clear or not)."
29 May 2007:-) Sarah-amy haley
I want to ride a snowy-moon-dragon-thing!

Did the "shells" react with the snow to make something - the dragon - that was already existed in 'parts' in the two components (long word, not sure if I actually know the meaning) - like in chemistry?

Hmm, I'm desperately trying to pretend reading these stories is revision... It's not is it ...

Anyway, back to the point, lovely story, short things can be great too, I think it was the right place to finish, writing more might have taken away the sparkely, oh so intriguing shine ... Oooo shiny ...

:-) Angela Perry replies: "Yay, shiny! *grins*Hmm, I like that interpretation on the shells. I hadn't thought that deeply about it, but, um, sure, that's it! *feels all deep and creative*"
1 Jun 2007:-) Randall Owen Salau
I just loved this! For me, it was the simplicity and innocence of a child's mind victorious in a world ruled by science. Short but very, very sweet. Nice drawing btw, I wish I could do art like that (I got an 'F' for finger painting in kindergarten, but since then my art has been all downhill). A very nice coffee break read *offers you a chocolate muffin*

:-) Angela Perry replies: "*giggles* I'm sure your drawing is much better than you give yourself credit for. Besides, I always console myself that writing is a form of art ;-)*greedily munches muffin* Yay, coffee breaks!"
28 Jul 2007:-) David Michael
Oh, and that picture's just great, plenty good enough for an Elfwood artist! I liked it, at any rate.

:-) Angela Perry replies: "*grins* Thanks. I hinted at some real artists to illustrate it for me. I figured that my posting a picture would motivate them, if only to get me to take my picture off ;-D"
28 Jul 2007:-) David Michael
It's always hard to comment on a piece when the really thorough people get to it first, but if I hope to get any traffic on my site I'd better not let that stop me. ') This is a beautiful little piece, all the more so because it IS little. Of the tiny things that could be improved, I agree that the scientists accepted the shells' crumbling a little too easily. If they thought it was such a landmark discovery, they'd be pretty distressed at losing it...though I'm sure they'd still study the dust. The first time or two you switched POV caught me off guard, but that's not really a problem (especially since the story's so short). You might just mention at the beginning that Kara's in her bedroom, to make it clear. Once I got it, it worked very nicely.

I'm a sucker for wind, so you could always mention that at the end to convey the feeling of flight through the cold winter air. But those are tiny things, and I really enjoyed it. Great idea. It is definitely poetic, but I think it works best in this form. Switching POV in poetry is difficult, because you have to say things in certain ways to make it work.

*bows* Good day!

:-) Angela Perry replies: "Good day to you, D! I'm so happy you stopped by. Thank you kindly for the in-depth critique. I've received a lot more positive feedback on this one than I would have expected, and I'm thinking of cleaning it up a bit, using all the wonderful comments I've received.Thanks again for visiting! I can't wait to stop by and see what's new on your page 1"
2 Jul 2008:-) Kelsey M. Graham
*claps gleefully* the sparklies! the sparklies! You did a great job of the description of the egg/shell thing *hypnotized by the sparkly*

:-) Angela Perry replies: "Yay, another sparkly fan! Life would be so boring without shiny things 1"
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About 'Snow Moon':
 • Status: OK
 • Created by: :-) Angela Perry
 • Copyright: ©Angela Perry. All rights reserved!

 • Keywords: Dragon, Ice, Science, Shell, Magic
 • Categories: Dragons, Drakes, Wyverns, etc, Magic and Sorcery, Spells, etc., Urban Fantasy and/or Cyberpunk, Juvenile, for Children, for Youth
 • Views: 900


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